4851 days.

4851 days. The human experience tells us that time is linear and symmetrical. That each second, each day passes at the same rate of 1 second per second. But I’m here to tell you that isn’t true. Because 4851 days can pass in the blink of an eye. When Jessica and I got married, we committed to being together forever. For those of you who were at our wedding, you may remember it was written on the cake, as it was said in the Sandlot. For.Ev.Er. And now I have to stand here and tell you that forever isn’t long enough. Because this is the shortest forever my soul could ever know, and we had to fit forever into 4851 days. I would give anything to have one more day, one more minute, one more second with the person I loved. I’m generally good at living my life without regret, but I will never stop regretting each moment I spent away from her. Each second that wasn’t spent hugging and kissing the person I love more than anything else. The best I can do for you all today is tell you everything I learned about the best person I ever met, all within those 4851 days. Jessica and I had our first date on 10/11/12. An incredibly easy date for us to remember, but we didn’t need the help. I fell in love with her the moment I met her and I know she would say the same. We went out to dinner in the city at a restaurant that is long gone now, called the Southern. In years later we would return to that restaurant location as it changed names and relive the love of our first date on our anniversary. From the moment I met her it was abundantly obvious to me how kind, loving, selfless and beautiful a person she was. She was a great listener, always asking thoughtful questions, never prioritizing herself. We talked about school, we both attended U of I, and our jobs. And most importantly we immediately scheduled a second date together. 1 day.

The next weekend we spent the day carving pumpkins in her apartment. I was blessed to learn how incredible an artist Jessica was. She carved the Mockingjay from the Hunger Games into a pumpkin, completely freehand. I, on the other hand, struggled to carve a block I. She spent much of that date talking to her mom on the phone. I didn’t mind at all. To me, nothing was more attractive than prioritizing family. That was representative of who Jessica was and would become in my life – always prioritizing her family over everything. 8 days. I won’t belabor you with every date we ever went on, but our third date is one that I know we both loved dearly. We went to dinner and then out to the Second City where we enjoyed a show. We walked home down Wells street holding hands, only to share our first kiss in front of her apartment out on the street. I immediately told her I wanted to be with her, and she obliged. 21 days.

Time passed in an instant; within 4 years we were engaged and living together. We had said our first I love yous, of the tens of thousands, perhaps millions we would say over the coming years. I was blessed to meet all of Jess’ wonderful friends, and she mine. We became a massive family. We enjoyed playing volleyball together in the city with my sister and our friends. Despite us having the best team name in the league, Air Bud Spikes Back, we didn’t win many games. But that was ok, Jess loved being together with friends and loved being outside. The journey and the friendships were more important than the games. 732 days.

Jess loved going to new restaurants and trying new foods. She loved traveling and going on walks. We visited England and Australia and New York. We went to New Zealand and France and California. But our favorite place to go together was Hawaii. We went many times over the years but I’ll never forget our first trip together. We did all of the cliché Hawaiian thinks like going to a luaus but most importantly we just got to be alone together and lay outside watching the sun set. There were few things Jess loved more than being outside, getting exercise, and observing nature and its beauty. Her love for rainbows is perhaps only exceeded by that of her daughters. And there was nothing I enjoyed more than enjoying the things she enjoyed with her. 954 days.

We often would go on walks in the city together. There was one particular place where we would cross the river on our walks and we always remarked it was the most beautiful place in the city. On Feb, 10 2016 I proposed at that very spot. Nothing felt better than solidifying our love with physical permanence. We were already deeply in love and now we got to move into the next phase of expression. I’ll never forget Jessica’s face when I proposed – surprise and happiness. She truly is the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my entire life. 1217 days.

We bought a condo together and started living together and prepared for our wedding. We planned our honeymoon and continued to date each other like we were back on day 21. It was pure, unadulterated joy for both of us to know that every day when we came home we got to be together. To fail at cooking together and watch new shows together. To play games and plan gatherings together. To just be alive and enjoy each other together. The wedding came in the blink of an eye, and it couldn’t have been more perfect. Once again, she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life. Baffling to me that she would ever want me to be her husband, but grateful that I got to share her life with her. To experience her joy and kindness. With the exception of our children, she gave me the three greatest gifts I’ve ever received on that day. Her hand in marriage. A book she wrote where she told me how much she loved me. And a coin I have carried every single day since she gave it to me which says “I love you Forever. 6.10.17. Your Wife. J”. 1703 days. Forever began speeding up. At the end of 2018 we were blessed and Jess was pregnant with our eldest daughter, Audrey. We began the bumbling, fumbling journey of becoming parents together. In the meantime, we visited Hawaii two more times. We spent more time outside hiking, climbing volcanoes, swimming with dolphins, and playing tennis. Our love kept growing and Jess began motherhood how she eventually finished it. Being the best mom you could ever possibly be to make sure her babies would have the best possible lives. 2402 days.

Audrey, like all three of our beautiful children, was born in August. 8/27/19 after Jess’ water broke while she was on a stair master getting exercise just 13 days before her due date. I always felt like that was poetic, as 13 was her favorite number. Emilia would later be born on the 13th of August. There are three moments that are seared into my mind that nothing could ever take away from me. Shortly after birth when we had our healthy, beautiful, perfect children we would look at each other, smile, and kiss. No words, just pure joy. Audrey was the first, and Jess couldn’t have been happier or more excited to be a mom. She used to ask me what I loved about her when we were dating. I would tell her I loved how kind she was, how thoughtful she was, and that I always knew she would be a great mother. Time has proven me correct on all accounts. 2511 days. We were both the best and the worst parents, as new parents are. Every minute was sleep deprived joy. And neither of us would have traded a second of it for the world. We lived through fears and joys with our newborn, watching her grow together. And I watched Jess blossom from a young woman into a tremendous mother in the blink of an eye. Two years later we were blessed with the birth of Emilia. Our condo in the city began to get cramped for our family of four so we looked to move out to the dreaded suburbs. Jessica, as I mentioned, loved family, and was in love with the idea of moving near my big sister to Western Springs, where we eventually resided. The only other real consideration for us was moving to live near her parents in Park Ridge, again, to be with family. For a period while our home was being renovated, we lived in Park Ridge anyway with Barbara, Jess’ Mom and Bogdan, her Dad, who was sick at the time. As a girl who struggled to lift 10-pound weights, physical strength may not have been Jess’ strong suit. But her mental strength was unmatched. With a newborn and a two-year-old she helped her mother through the difficult transition that was her father’s passing. She never complained, never blinked an eye. She gritted her teeth and did what was needed, expressing love and compassion the entire way. In May of 2022 we finally moved into our new house. The place we would build a family in together. Jessica immediately turned it from a house into a home. Hanging our children’s pictures and decorating the home for holidays – one of her favorite things to do. We remained deeply in love and living out our dreams. Two beautiful children in a beautiful home. 3511 days.

We lived a prototypical suburban life. Jessica loved taking our daughters on walks, going to the library – we have probably visited every library in a 30 mile radius 100 times, going to the beach, playing in the snow, and doing art projects in our backyard. Jess was always ready to do something new with the girls. She always wanted them to be learning and improving. Whether it was her teaching the girls piano, teaching Audrey to read when she was extremely young, or doing math with a 2-year-old Emilia, she never missed a single moment. She was even learning to play the Pokemon card game because she wanted to share her children’s passions with them. She was always present, and truly the most incredible mother any child could ask for. And undoubtedly the most incredible wife. 4231 days.

As I said earlier, forever passes in the blink of an eye. Ethan was born on 8/8/25, 13 years into our forever, but just 167 before the end. Once again Jessica was the perfect mother, through both pregnancy, birth, and after. Once again, I can clearly see her face and feel her kiss the moment after he was born. Joy that can never again be replicated in my life. 4684 days. And for the last 167 days she ascended from super mom to perfection. She championed having three children in a way that I didn’t think was possible. She would take the kids anywhere and everywhere, always up for the logistical, mental, and physical challenges that come with wrangling so many little ones. And yet she still made sure to make time for me to have free time to enjoy myself, get exercise, and see my friends. Even if it meant tremendous difficulty for her. Because to her nothing was too difficult if it meant bringing her family joy. Every weekend, the kids would wake up to fresh banana cookies. And every day they would go to school with a note in their lunchbox, where mom would tell them how much mommy and daddy love them. Audrey has kept every single one and we will cherish them forever as mementos to a mother whose forever ended too soon, but whose impact and love will never be forgotten. She loved her children and her husband more than is imaginable. We have a saying in our family, we say to each other before bedtime. The saying is, “I love you more than anything, never too much.” It is a means to describe how much we love each other – more than anything - and that our love can never be too much – there can’t ever be too many kisses or hugs or I love you’s. Jessica embodied that from the moment I met her until the day our forever ended. She was the consummate friend, wife, and mother. So I ask two things of everyone here today. 1. Is to Never forget Jessica, and carry her with you every day of your life. Remember her beauty, inside and out. Her kindness, her loving, her caring, and her selflessness. Remember her smile, her laugh, her touch. Our family will, and we will remain a family of five, forever. Nothing can or will ever change that. And 2. Is never forget how short forever can be, because with that, we are at 4851 days. And speaking from experience, that’s not long enough, and it will pass in the blink of an eye. 4851 days to experience her love and 4851 days with my best friend.

Jess, the children and I love you more than anything, never too much.